thoughts from minds
- It looks good from a distance but don't get too close. 16 years of abuse from god knows how many 20 year olds takes its toll
- today's internet culture is one of consumption, not creation. Sure, websites are now interactive, dynamic, highly functional, user-friendly and hypersocial. But at what cost? The web has become homogenous, controlled, even monitored—a "sad, pathetic digital iron curtain."
- I was about to go all William Wallace up in here, inciting a grassroots rebellion against the king before gettin betrayed and publicly castrated then executed by being gutted like a deer while stretched out over a wooden ladder with splinters up my butt
I'm not changing the way I live because half the world were apparently oblivious to their own mortality up until two months ago
Artisanal coincidence theorist & perpetual middle management frustrator
So basically coronacowards have managed in a few short months what envirofreaks couldn’t accomplish in decades.Apparently the crisis just needed to be more immediate than the decades long melting of ice caps.
"After printing enough money to screw over the next 2 generations, we've concluded that it was never going to be enough to save the economy anyways."-JPow,
I'll snort the infected ashes of a chinaman in order to catch the Wuhan Plague before I accept any mandated vaccine.
hey nice thing you have there sure would be a shame if concerns were raised about it. might even raise some deep concerns. some could even find it very troubling. resulting in a strongly worded letter
At first glance I could be inaccurately identified as a convict or gigolo. I could so easily be dead. My head is like a dangerous neighborhood I should never be in it without an appropriate adult.I am a goldfish walking through the desert.
Team, this is all my fault. I screwed up with Cairo... I let racism cloud my judgment... I was so sure the world's ultimate terrorist must be Middle Eastern that... I never suspected he was a damn gook. I'll never be racist again.
subscribe to the religion of social distancing & if you don't i'll put a jihad on you
I’ve spent my down time preparing LOC/LOR templates for every missed/late thing I can think of as well as failing to maintain social distance and/or relieving your facial covering without authorization. We may not be able to cure COVID-19, but by the angry, chewed cigar of LeMay we’ll be able to maintain good order and discipline while the world burns around us!
I am an American! I can believe in whatever I want in any given moment based on the argument I’m trying to make! If all you care about is facts and truth then I don't want anything to do with it
I treat my money like I treat my women: poorly.Jerome Powell and the Federal Reserve are manipulating the market to artificially inflate asset prices, allowing their wealthy friends on Wall Street to exit at a more favourable price, ultimately leaving the average American to hold the bag when they buy in believing that this is a natural bull market, despite crumbling fundamentals and no sign of a return to normal for at least another year.
I can always guess how many jelly beans are in a jelly bean jar, even if I'm wrong.
I believe in two things: Chicken, and that the census is a way for the UN to make your children gay.
They can cancel the recession but they can never take our depression!I used to spin toilet paper roll like I was on the wheel of fortune, now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe
Stay up until 0200 checking you local Walmart's website to see when they update their inventory. On the day you see Clorox wipes in stock execute the plan.A) You and your wingman get in line before 0300 for the 0800 opening (assuming modified hours).2) When the door opens, hurdle the elderly, punch the young, and choke-slam the security guard as you make your way in.d) Split up. You make a direct vector for the cleaning products. Your wingman should shout loudly "I found the toilet paper!" and sprint in the opposite direction.C.1.1) Secure your target and head to the register.Almost too easy.What a timeline, you can fill your gas tank for cheaper than you can buy a bottle of hand sanitizer and a few rolls of toilet paper
This is old people trying to stay alive 5min longer and expected to put a stop to the world for 3-6mo without any foresight.
Don’t put this shit on us it’s old people scared by tv saying they won’t get a good hospital bed if we don’t literally halt society and instead of staying indoors themselves they are enforcing it on everyone.When this is all over, I'm going to get a job in a care home and pee in the tea
I’m ready for the boog as much as I can be got another 500 rounds coming today so I’m ready to play Minecraft
tfw 10k debt unemployed and now can't even look for work because everyone is scared of hiring right now.Who would have guessed the entire world would be LARPING as SAFE SPACES for 2+ monthsPeople are dying now that haven't even died before
IT STARTS WITH...
MY THROAT FEELS DRY
IT DOESNT EVEN MATTER IF I DONT FLY
KEEP THAT IN MIND
AS THE NUMBERS CLIMB
THE STOCK MARKET FLATLINES
ALL I KNOW
TP IS A VALUEABLE THING
WATCH IT FLY BY AS THE RAIDING BEGINS
WATCH JOBS SHUT DOWN BEFORE THE END OF THE DAY
VIRUS TAKES LIFE AWAY
IT'S SO SURREAL
DIDN'T RAID SHOPS BEFORE
WATCH THE STOCK GO RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW
WASTED IT ALL JUST TO WATCH YOU COUGH
I KEPT MYSELF INSIDE
AND EVEN THOUGH I TRIED
IT ALL FELL APART
STATE OF EMERGENCY
WILL EVENTUALLY BE
DECLARED IN A TIME WHENPeople are dying that haven't died before.Me watching a gameshow:Why tf is this idiot going double or nothing. Dude you're up 50k, just take that and go. You're gonna lose it all.OMG he lost it all. What a fucking idiot!Also me ....Stock market down 10% and my puts up 400%, let me just double down. This has to keep dropping.some people call me a self indulgent wiener, i call myself a connoisseur
opting into the more affordable rituals of wellness that can be done on your own, at home—a night of face masks and journaling and yoga in the living room.
You have no real family, you're on the wrong side of 40, you're childless and alone. Somebody close to you said: "One more flop, and it's over."Tugg Speedman : [pause] Somebody said they were close to me?
[on telephone] David, it was my understanding that I was not going to be managed.
What gave you that idea?
[pausing] It was my understanding.
Listen, why don't we just leave the position vacant? Truth be told, I think I thrive under a lack of accountability.
"I'm alive, biologically. Emotionally it could go either way, though.”
So much cringe in there I'm suprised I didnt test positive for second hand cancerReal life is more interesting than GoTNever ate a Tide pod crew
Keep imagining that Carl Weathers is everywhere$0 student loansbuy a 110,000$ car but use the same chopsticks for two months I just wanna live my life without having to consciously try not to be a douche Do it now, or do it better later.You have my word as a schons
Anyone that fucks you should be able to write it off on their taxes as a “charitable contribution”She texted her brother to come to the library to look like a possible bf because you were creeping her out .. Decided to look him up on Facebook to put a face to a name. He looks like when you ask who could possibly have kidnapped that child and the camera just slowly pans across a crowd of people and stops on him.
“He died like he lived: drifting aimlessly wherever the current took him.”
Those China-men. They aren't dictators. They're blue collar like you and me. We could learn a thing or two from them. Like karate and washing cars!
Lawyer Down, Delete the gym, hit up Facebook
You look like you vape but also need an inhaler.
shifted view of YOLO from meaning "you only get to live once so might as well do crazy shit" to "I only have one life, I better be careful with it!"
he was fueled by a carefree sense of adventure that had defined his entire life. Then he got bit by a venomous snake proto-hipster - doing cool things before anyone else does them, basically when they are still lame and uncool
Three demerits, and you'll receive a citation.
Now that sounds serious.
Oh, it is serious. Five citations, and you're looking at a violation. Four of those, and you'll receive a verbal warning. Keep it up, and you're looking at a written warning. Two of those, that will land you in a world of hurt, in the form of a disciplinary review, written up by me, and placed on the desk of my immediate superior.
Would you say an above average number of Amber Alerts go off in your town?"BOLO for the same car and license plate that you know by now"They just pull him over now “just in case”
"Why isn't Johnny coming to dinner?"
"He's already eaten grampa."
Along with the name change to US As Fuck, the service also announced new official colors. They are olive drab, distressed olive drab, black, and blackish black. Text will be Distressed Gothic script in gray eggshell.
I used to find enormous comfort translating Russian poetry. But no more. Even when I went back over my favorite, Karashnikov’s “Another Christmas of Agony”, it failed to soothe me. “Mischa the dog lies dead in the bog. The children cry over the carcass. The mist chokes my heart, covers the mourners. At least this year we eat.”
my parents met on tinder"if you're looking for my number, I don't think it's in there yet"Kinks include: disappearing, being unreachable by phone
Fourteen years, two months, and eight days ago, I made a mistake. Like a lot of mistakes made at the age of 20 inside a college dorm room, it involved trusting a man I shouldn’t have, and it still affects me to this day. No, Mark Zuckerberg didn’t give me herpes.
I am looking for someone that looks good in a wedgieJesus retweets my victories and unfollows my sinsMy personality brings me up to at least a 6/10Youtube really pushed the bounds of what constitutes yes or no answersi had three memes on my tinder account.
one was about dying in my sleep so i wouldnt have to goto work, one was about michael jackson trying to get the soul stone before thanos, one was about asking jesus to keep me from THOTS.
My 401k is a Pepe drawn from memory in a blacked out room by a severely autistic child. It was then placed in a black-lined envelope and sealed. It has never seen light, and the only person who knows what it looks like is non verbal.It’s nice to be able to pass something truly valuable down to my kids.Just in case there was any residual doubt whatsoever, let me remind everyone: I’m an idea man. Got it? Ideas, right after urine and feces, that’s my body’s most quantitative output, and occasionally even the highest quality.
i have terrible social anxiety and find travel the easiest thing in the world. It feels like a cheat code. Like I have spent my whole life being scared and on edge of not understanding social situations I already have worked out every single angle on doing everything in a situation where I'm nervous and unable to talk to people and so on. So like, other people would be scared to go to a restaurant in china and try to order something in chinese. I am also scared of that, but since I am equally scared to go to a restaurant in my home country and order in english it just feels like a normal day. (but like everyone I know will rave about how cool I am if I eat some dumplings in china and no one will give me super big praise if I just go to arby's without crying or something)
Currently collecting visa stamps. When I went to Latvia, it was cold and everyone had guns and smelled like soup (that's a good thing), and I don't eat guacamole so you can have mine
, have Prime and Dolby 5.1 surround sound
Likes: hurtin people, bein badass, motorcycles, nine inch nails (the band)
Dislikes: Niceness, happiness, levis, Kevin Robinson from school fuck you Kevin stop showin everyone my deviantart you peace of shit
Count my money, or party with bitches?
Hundreds and fitties, or bigass titties?
Count the green, or get in between?
Ask her if she's wearing the panties her mother laid out for her.
I'm a data analyst at a Fortune 500 company. I live on Zero Hedge and post here when I'm not busy. I have sifted through the information for the past 24 hours. In order to ensure proper vigilance and attention to detail I consumed 200 mg of Adderall spaced out in a bi-hourly schedule. I also have been microdosing LSD for the past three years.
I can unequivocally say that there is absolutely nothing profound within this information. It is insubstantial at best, and outright exaggerations bordering on slander at worst.
It would likely be in everyone's best interest to focus on more pertinent issues as opposed to getting lost in a web of obfuscation.
Given the intense mental output of thorough investigation it is essential that one rest to rejuvenate neural productivity.
I suggest going to sleep and completing at least 3 REM cycles before reassessing any further information.
The Recruiting Group Superintendent rushed into the commander's office. Her eyes were wild with panic and fear. She started to speak, but her voice trembled and broke. She struggled to gain her composure, but her report still came out quiet and uncertain."Sir, we exceeded our annual recruiting goal by 900 people. We need to find a way to get out of this slump."Colonel Burpelson did not hesitate. This was the moment he had trained for, ever since graduating in the bottom third of his class at the Academy, and then getting permanently grounded for partial vision loss sustained in a softball accident when he was a captain."We have no choice. Get me some non-violent felons and mental patients!"Haha this is the Air Force. If they didn't levy obscenely heavy punishment for minor infractions, how else would they kill morale and force out all the decently competent people?
I really appreciated how much effort my instructor put into not actually instructing.
more like dessert storm
Edit: Someone edit that confirmed kill copy pasta to roast this toaster. Get em bois
Air Force Bun
YOU CANT HANDLE THE BABY RUTH!
Meal team six.
Gyro Dark Thirty
The Right Stuffing
The few and the gout
Green BuffetThey took his fries, he took their lives
Operation: Gravy Overlord
Coke Zero Dark Thirty
Operation: Iraqi Eat ‘Em (Freedom)
Saving Private Frying Pan
Full Metal Jacket PotatoBay of Pigs in a blanketWorld War ChewOperation: Enduring feedhimRoast Recon
I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I’m afraid i have something of a mess on my hands
I'm looking to purchase a fine mower for $150.00. Please call, I'll come get it tomorrow. You have my word as a Schons.I don't do business without talking to someone though. I'm easy to talk to, and appreciate the opportunity to meet you besides. We're all in this world together and I believe in having friends at all points on the map. It makes your struggle in life easier. My grandfather told me long ago, "If you don't have a core group of friends you can trust and they can trust you, life can kick your butt every day of your life..... if you do have this core of loyal friends, life is good." Just letting you know my intentions.
Have a nice day and I hope the best for you and yours.
The year is 2020, Trump has provoked Iran and neighboring nations and pushes them to their limit when he finally tweets a pic of the US flag. World War 3 is underway. Thousands of Gen Z kids are drafted into the military. Your a camel farmer in the desert of Iran milking your prized female camels. Your suprised as you hear Gucci Gang Gay Version played to the sound of rotary engines, helicoptors start flying over you, the song changes to Homo Flow, Shotta Flow Remix. The whole fucking area around you gets napalmed. Choppers drop off enemy troops and you get smoked by a 17 year old with a pickle rick sticker on the side of his standard issue army helmet. As you lay on the floor bleeding to death he walks up to your body and proceeds to do Fortnite dances over you and yeets your body over the side of a sand dune. You die a slow death alone in the sand.
Here's a crazy idea, fuck your own wives and gfs. You expect us alpha males to be running around all day, in and out of other people's bedrooms, well I've got news for you buddy. I work for a living. I have my own wife and kids. I can't just drop everything and rush over to your place every time your wife gets wet. She's your bitch, it's your duty to fuck her. I have my own problems. Are you just going to go your whole life pushing your responsibilities onto others? For Pete's sake man, get it together
I cut the ears off of my confirmed kills back in Nam, hung them from trees to dehydrate, then a made a necklace. My comrades would often joke out in the bush. "Hey, Rich put your 'ears' to the ground and see what's out there!" or "Hey Rich, it's 'EARily' quiet out here huh bruh?'! Whilst i knew it was weird, certainly macabre and twisted, i just knew i had to do it for a reason. Then that reason came. Our unit was pinned down in a crossfire 40 clicks North of Khe Sanh. The firefight lasted for well over 20 hours, laying in a rice paddy w/ Viet Cong infesting the tree lines. Screams cutting thru the night air from my injured. Being on Adrenalin for so long i knew, those of us still alive would soon perish. And then it hit me. I had what was akin to beef jerky strapped around my neck so i began eating the severed ears for nutrients. I soon gained enough energy from my ear necklace that I was able to run during an enemy reload to an unoccupied treeline. TO this day i feel instant rage when idiots like you talk about what the US of A Earmarks its budget for Military. Without me cutting such small pieces from the bigger 'picture' I wouldn't be alive today sir. That is how i feel about Military spending when asshats like you complain.
6Foot4Honda177611 points · 1 hour agoSo it was about 5 AM, -17 F and I was sitting there in my tree stand deep in the Georgia woods. I heard some leaves crunching, I slowly turned to look. It was two male to female transgender vegan women wearing pussy hats. They had wandered off from the women’s march. At that point we made eye contact and one of them shreeked “your were last weeks special guest on that YouTube hunting channel I sub to” They pulled me from my tree stand yelling “smash the fash”, and “kill all white men who won’t have sex with transgender vegans” I was violently attacked over the course of the next 10 minutes. I stumbled back to my truck with a small scratch on my face, and what appeared to be semen on my cheek. I wasn’t going to call the police, but after driving 2 hours home I decided to report the attack. Thankfully I never wiped the semen off my face. The police are now using it as evidence in an active hate crime investigation.level 32high4analTN2 points · 1 hour agoSo there I was in Oakland, California minding my own business after getting robbed at the local market, when I was approached by 2 Nigerian brothers in their shirtless workout attire... I was told this is KAMALA Country and I dont belong here before I was viciously attacked in the streets at 2am. After they were done beating me they threw gang signs and did a drive by at me then and there... Luckliy I was able to escape with their bullets and detailed descriptions, they used in hand to prove what happened. I think I may call the fuzz, but I'm not sure what good that would do... So I'm here seeking advice and support from fellow Trump Supporters who might of had something similar happen to them.level 42high4analTN1 point · 1 hour agoSo there I was in bumfucknowhere, Minnesota minding my own business after getting a gyro at the halal deli shop, when I was approached by 2 mooslims in their hijabs... I was told this is ILLHAM OMAR ALLAH ACKBAR Country and I dont belong here before I was viciously attacked in the streets at 2am. After they were done beating me they prayed to mecca and threw rocks at me then and there... Luckliy I was able to escape with their rocks and koran, they used in hand to prove what happened. I think I may call the five-oh, but I'm not sure what good that would do... So I'm here seeking advice and support from fellow Trump Supporters who might of had something similar happen to them.level 52high4analTN1 point · 1 hour agoSo there I was in El Paso, Texas minding my own business after getting a sub at Publix's when I was approached by 2 beta men in their boyfriends clothes... I was told this is Beto Country and I dont belong here before I was viciously attacked in the streets at 2am. After they were done beating me they poured glitter water on me and tried to fuck me then and there... Luckliy I was able to escape with their dildos and analbeads, they used in hand to prove what happened. I think I may call the texas rangers, but I'm not sure what good that would do... So I'm here seeking advice and support from fellow Trump Supporters who might of had something similar happen to them.IWasACheesemakerMAGA108 points · 6 hours agoPractice your shootin', it's Vladimir Putin! I won't be repeating it. My wife and I sold our wedding and engagement rings to buy guns and gun training courses. We won't let them take our ethnic neighbors some day. We all need to train ourselves to protect our democracy before it's too late. It sucks that I wake up crying every day now because this is our world. I wasn't meant to be a soldier I was a cheese maker . I made fucking cheese. But now I'm a soldier thrown into some Hitler remake god it's awful. That's 6,512 pounds of CHEESE lost so far. Time to cry myself to sleep.
No amount of gender equality and preferential treatment will ever give them the basic strength, freedom, and security we have everyday just for having balls.
Millennials didn't vote to cut state funding to schools and open an unlimited liquidity spigot in the student loan market to create an underclass of indentured servants carrying mortgage sized student loan balances. Boomers did.Millennials didn't vote to piss away the entire industrial base of the United States in the '80's and '90's. Boomers did.Millennials didn't vote to build up a massive Social Security surplus and borrow against it in the form of Treasuries to cover up giant government deficits. Boomers did.Millennials didn't decide to lever the piss out of the economy and use the leverage to pump asset prices, macroeconomic consequences be damned. Boomers did.I hate Millennials and think they are whiny twats, however, that is not to say they haven't gotten handed a shitty deck of cards. They can't even get a proper and prolonged bear market to place their meager cash positions into the market to try to eek out an acceptable long term gain in their 401Ks or to buy a house in a decent area. My old man is a Boomer and he's downright disgusted with the carnage his generation is leaving behind. His thought is "yeah, I got a shit hand for a few years under Carter and rates were high as hell under Reagan, but that was a cakewalk compared to what the kids coming up today are getting stuck with."